Self-esteem is the state of mind you have about yourself and your life. Regardless of how or why, self-esteem is essentially an attitude that you have, a fixed frame of mind.
It could be said that someone with high self-esteem has a confident and positive frame of mind towards himself and towards his life. While someone with low self-esteem finds it more difficult to maintain that positive frame of mind and tends to see themselves and their life in low light.
Surveys in the United States and Canada show that the “reasons” for low self-esteem are many and very diverse.
Some people have a poor body image, others feel inadequate in social situations; others think things are against them.
Looking further, we find that sex and relationships play a role in one’s self-esteem, it can be related to family situations, work, world affairs, financial situations, and sometimes it is just a feeling without a specific or identifiable cause. The list could go on and on, but the one thing all of these apparent reasons have in common is the fact that it is your own perception of these things and how they relate to you that is actually behind the level of self-esteem you have. I have.
It is your view of yourself in relation to these things that is behind your level of self-esteem.
Self-esteem is essentially a “state of mind.”
Yes, I know that the first thing one can say is that the mood is caused by the situation in the real world. “If the situation were different, my self-esteem would be higher.”
Sure it can be seen that way, but that’s a limiting view and one that doesn’t offer a solution. We would have to change the world to raise our self-esteem, and with low self-esteem we have no chance of changing the world.
All your life you have been told that being overweight is a bad thing, that you are overweight and that it affects your self-esteem.
You know that the opportunities for a successful and exciting career are closed to you and that is why your self-esteem is low.
You know that others are smarter, prettier, more resourceful and more successful than you, and that is the reason for your low self-esteem.
The “reasons” mentioned above “seem” the roots of low self-esteem. You notice something about yourself or your life that you see as bad or poor, and your self-esteem sinks because of it.
But stop a minute ……………..
Is it possible that we have it backwards?
Instead of having low self-esteem due to any of the above situations, is it possible for one to feel depressed first and then hold onto that feeling to something like one of the above situations?
What came first?
Look at it like this, there are other people who are in the same situation as you and who do not have low self-esteem or a bad image of themselves.
There are people in the same situation as you who don’t even think twice. This single fact shows us that it is not the situation that makes us feel the way we feel. It is our perception of the situation, and that is something completely different.
I say this so that you begin to see what is “really” behind your low self-esteem.
If we are to solve it, we must get to the truth of the matter.
Most people, when asked what the causes of their problems are, will give you something in response.
I tell you that what we give up as “reason” is often not the real reason. Therefore, looking down the avenue that presents that “reason” will not be very fruitful or lead to a solution.
Let me give you some examples of this:
Someone who is overweight has low self-esteem; They say this is because they are too fat. We asked another person who is overweight about their self-esteem and found no problem.
So we can say that having low self-esteem and being overweight is not an automatic or global response. It is an individual response.
Do you see how this situation could divert him and take him down a path without a solution in the background?
You could try all the diets under the sun, the moon, and the stars and still have no positive effect on your self-esteem.
So what if low self-esteem comes first and the apparent “reason” is actually a secondary factor?
This is a very important point, if you say that you have low self-esteem because of XY or Z, and then you try to solve it by addressing XY and Z. If it doesn’t solve, it is not the reason.
Someone says, “I have low self-esteem because other people are smarter than me.”
This person then performs a large number of studies in an attempt to “get smart” to “solve” his low self-esteem.
It will not work, the person has already decided that they are not intelligent, so the study will not turn out very well, this will then aggravate the low self-esteem. The “solution” has the opposite effect.
That is because it is not the real reason or the correct solution.
This attempted solution actually reinforces the apparent “reason” for his low self-esteem.
Having failed in the syllabus, they now “know” that they are not smart and are more convinced that the “reason” for their low self-esteem is because “other people are smarter than they are.”
The person has proven himself the wrong reason.
We could go further and say that they have done well for being wrong. It is a self-fulfilling situation.
The person now becomes super focused on the apparent “reason” and it doesn’t matter what he does about it; it does not solve the problem of low self-esteem.
Everything becomes very complex and complicated, and that is because it is not true.
The truth is always very simple. We can measure the amount of truth in a situation by lack of complexity.
The person in our previous example is now in a very difficult situation. They have convinced themselves of the “reason” for their low self-esteem and now they see no solution.
Let’s try to get out of that box for a while.
Let’s say that low self-esteem is essentially a fixed state of mind that you have about yourself.
The “reasons” that you hold as the cause may or may not be true, and it doesn’t really matter that much. The thing is, you have a fixed mindset about them.
If we look at it from that perspective, all the “reasons” and “causes” become less important. We just bypass all that confusion and guesswork and say that low self-esteem is a fixed state of mind.
What that state of mind fixes on is not the point; the fact is that it is fixed.
So we can also say that what we really have to do to solve the problem of low self-esteem is to solve the problem of fixed moods.
Although the “reason” for your low self-esteem seems very persuasive and although you “know” that the “reason” must change before your self-esteem does, try to overcome that and see that you have a fixed frame of mind about the appearance. of yourself or your life that worries you.
If you could change that state of mind, the focus and the “reason” for it would disappear as an important factor.
That is what this course is going to do for you; It will allow you to change your mood and, with that, it will allow you to move on with your life.
Fixed mind frames.
When we say a fixed state of mind, we are talking about something that seems quite impenetrable.
How could you sincerely change a fixed mood?
Changing your mind is something you have been told to do many times, and it is also something that you might have tried many times.
It works for a while, but then you slip back into the old pattern of behavior and thoughts.
The reason for that setback is that a state of mind is actually held in place by many thoughts and it takes more than one new thought to change it.
Self-hypnosis attempts to address this by taking the subconscious route. This is feasible to some extent, but the subconscious mind is a very complex aspect of our makeup and cannot be so easily fooled.
Positive thinking and affirmation take a similar route, trying to place a lot of positive thoughts on top of negative ones, again the process has some feasibility but it is not the complete solution.
A fixed state of mind is a very stubborn aspect of our constitution; it takes a little more than a lot of positive thoughts to change it forever.
The breaking of a fixed state of mind is actually a personal revelation.
It takes a personal revelation to change one, and in that we have the door and the key.
To really change a fixed state of mind takes more than just trying to think about things in a more positive way.
You could say “today I’m not going to think about my problems.”
The first thing that happens is that you start thinking about your problems. This approach seems to have the opposite effect.
A simple example of this is asking someone not to think of cats. They must think about cats so as not to think about them, so that approach never works.
If you have something “on your mind” trying to remove it or change it in that way it cannot work.
It takes a personal revelation, a personal realization about yourself and deep within yourself that is fundamental and true. That’s what it takes to really change a fixed frame of mind.
The route of positive thinking, affirmation and self-hypnosis does not provide that revelation, they assume that it has already happened and then they try to rebuild, but to build something new, what was there before must be removed. It is the same with a fixed state of mind, we cannot use that old fixed state of mind as the basis for a new way of life, it has to disappear.
Do you remember the feeling you had when you “dropped the penny”, could you have been trying to do something, or have understood something and suddenly got it?
The moment you understood it, all the frustration, confusion, false notions, and difficulty disappeared from the situation and you could clearly see the truth of the matter.
At that moment we could say that you had a realization, a little personal revelation.
When that happened, the old considerations and thoughts you had on the topic or thing you were working with were gone forever. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t honestly get those old feelings back.
That’s what we’re going to do about your feelings of low self-esteem, bad self-image, and lack of confidence.
We are not going to explain it, we are not going to learn a self-hypnosis trick to control it and we are not going to tell ourselves that it does not exist.
We’ll take you to a point of personal disclosure about it, and at that point, as in our previous example, it’s gone forever.
In summary and in no uncertain terms, I am saying that low self-esteem is a fixed state of mind that you have about yourself and your life. That fixed state of mind may or may not have a “reason” behind it, but the solution is not based on finding that reason and rationalizing it.
We need to break out of that fixed state of mind and the only way we can do that is by performing what I would call “a personal revelation.” With that fundamental understanding, the fixed state of mind is broken and with that you are free of it.
Achieving that revelation is not as difficult as you might think at first, but the method involved must be followed to the end.
This is a new approach to the problem of low self-esteem and to many other situations in life. It is very viable and amounts to a total solution.